Just for Fun - Jokes for Everyone

 

We all need a laugh once in a while, and there's a million jokes out there. Here's a few computer related ones to brighten your day!

 

Top Ten Reasons to Believe

Your Computer is Evil!

Hal

 

Your computer is so slow that by the time your program has loaded, you have forgotten why you wanted it..
Check Your computer is so slow that you estimate the time needed to finish an assignment on a calendar instead of a watch.
Check The computer’s language suddenly changes from english to an obscure 4000 year old alphabet.
Check All of your important files disappear to the same place as your missing socks and your car keys.
Check You have felt a strong desire to punch your computer on more than one occasion.
Check When it boots into windows, your computer plays creepy horror music.
Check Even the quick-start manual is more than 100 pages long!
Check It has more viruses than a pathology lab.
Check Whenever you have company, the computer will only access ‘naughty’ websites.
Check You could have bought a small country with the money you have spent on computer repairs.

 

 

Microsoft vs. GM

 

At a computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal."

 

General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement,

 

"Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?"

 

..which leads to ...

 


What If Microsoft Made Cars?


Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.

 

Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.

 

Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this too.

 

Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.

 

The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.

 

New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

 

The airbag system would say, "Are you sure?" before going off.

 

Everytime they introduced a new car model, buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again, because none of the controls would be in the same place, or operate in the same manner as the old car.


You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.

 

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